if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?
Woah woah wait
you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”
that would explain why, because you would actually be inhaling little parts of them over time
Oh my god
Someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking
The best road rage I’ve ever seen was this girl screaming out of her car window “I hope you don’t fuck like you drive!” I still think about that sometimes.
coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag